I wrote this poetry long ago and as I change it over to WordPress from my previous site, it seems like so long ago in a different world. I haven’t read them in years and still, although some are quite lame, some are extremely poignant. I won some sort of an award for Hearts All Gone. I don’t remember what it was, but it was pretty cool.
Mad As Hell
You think I’m going to hell
Well, how about you
God made me the way I am
Your certainly not one of the chosen few
Your heart’s full of anger, hate and disgust
Your suppose to love your fellow man
Not rub his whole face in the dust.
We’ll just see
On judgment day
Who’s going to hell
And who’s going to a better day.
Hello World
Hello world
It’s me again
The boy you say
Who lives in sin
I guess you say that to keep me down
Well it works
Just look around.
You fill me with hate
You make me despise
I’m a loving person
With hate in his eyes.
You know just how
To get to me
You cut my heart out
You dissect me.
Well one day
You’ll get yours
When all the fags
Come through the closet doors.
Hearts All Gone
I sit here
I’m filled with self-doubt
I have important things to say
But the words won’t come out.
To all the people I love
It’s hard to say
I know it will hurt them
To tell them I’m gay.
Don’t want to make them ashamed
Or embarrassed or sad
I just want to tell them
Get it over with
Not thinking I’m something bad.
I know I’m a stand up guy
Just a little mad
I just have to make the words come out
To tell my mom and my dad.
They’re both good folks
I love them a lot
I know they will love me
Never love me, not.
When the words come out
It’ll rip their hearts out.
Have you ever had to rip the heart
out of someone you really love?
Alone
Here I sit
I’m only gay
A long life
To my dismay
I reach out
Only to pull back
I need help please God
I’m begging. Many years
So long, so short
Accomplished much
Yet nothing accomplished
I used to be alone
Not lonely
Now it seems as lonely is only
The only way.
Yes I am gay
Dear God
Why did you make me this way
Is it some sort of punishment from another day
Please God
Just make the pain go away
There are things a man must do
Things you must put him through
But I ask you why
A man must cry.
Alone.
John Glenn
Hello world
I’ll be out there soon
Hell I know I can do it
They sent John Glenn back to the moon
These past few months
Have really been rough
I know I can do this
My mom says I’m tough
All I have to do
Is stand up and say
Hello world,
My name is Rick
And I’m very very gay
If it were so easy
I’d done it long ago
Man, it’s hard.
Yes, I know John Glenn has never been to the moon
Never The Same
It’s been pretty good
Everyone understood
Deep down
I knew they wood
17 days ago
I entered a new world
And it will never be the same
Wow
Wow! It’s me!
Could it be
I can actually see
See what, you ask
It’s me
With no mask
The mask that I’ve worn
For so many years
The mask that I’ve worn
Through so many tears
Wow! It’s me!
I can see
Me running around happily
Man
Man
I’m smiling today
I can’t believe it’s great being gay
I thought my life was going to be shit
But hey
I took that stand
Made my life more legit
Man
Can you believe, just a year ago life sucked
The way I walked around
And moped around just wanting to get fucked
Well I learned the best way for me to go
Just be honest and forthright
And take it slow
Man
Can you believe that I met this guy
He’s so nice, I like him, it’s such a great high
He’ smart and intelligent and has common sense
He’s big and passionate and not too dense (I had to make a rhyme)
Man
As you know from my past
I’m a pretty good guy
But I’m a little scared of life
But I’m now willing to try
This man is a teacher, a friend and bliss
If one day our paths part
He, I will surely miss
Take it from me
Who ever you are
You’ll never get anywhere
You’ll never get far
All you have to do
Is to take a chance
It’s hard as hell
But you life will enhance
Man
I like him
I hope it works
The Answers To The Questions That I Have
I guess I’m kinda sad you see
I don’t understand insecurity
In our sixth great week
I struggle to seek
The answers
To the questions that I have.
I try my best
Be like the rest
Put up a front and
Stay in the hunt
I can’t be the prey
But I don’t want to feel this way.
I struggle to seek
The answers to the questions that I have.
So what’s wrong with me
I’m a good man you see
Too much baggage to share
Do I tell him, do I dare
If I open up
Will I scare him away
Never again feel this way
I put up this front
It really sucks
But I struggle to seek
The answers to the questions that I have.
Oh Yea, Me Too
I know this guy
He says he’s bi
Oh yea, me too
Ate a nasty pie
He had to lie
Oh yea, me to
And in July
He’ll clean his pigsty
Oh yea, me too
Hands on his thigh
It made him high
Oh yea, me too
Had to comply
With a man in Levi’s
Oh yea, me too
Tried to defy
This man’s hog tie
Oh yea, me too
It makes him cry
Should someone die
Oh yea, me too
Covered him with lye
Said goodbye
Oh yea, me too
Things I love
I love my jeep
I love my truck
I love my man
I love my house
I love my family
I love most of my neighbors
I love my friends
I love most of my co-workers
I love my dog
I like my job (there was a time I hated my job)
I love working with my family (most of the time)
I love my brother
I love my sister
And yes,
I love myself
To Duncan
I come from a different world
A world so different than you
So I never new I could even love someone
As much as I love you
Many years were spent
Many years were wasted
Many years went down the drain
Many years were suffered
Many years were sad
Many years were spent in pain
But how do I know
That I’m so happy now? Just look at my eyes and see
It doesn’t take a genius to know
A happy boy is me
My empty spot is gone forever
Always full I know I’ll be I’ll work real hard
To make it right
Cause I know that you love me
I hope my triumphs, my trials, and falls
Will make me a stronger man
I’ll do my best to please you buddy
I’ll do the best I can
I know it’s early
But I will strive
To be with you
As long as I’m alive
Can You Believe?
I don’t know what’s going on with me
I’ve never been so happy you see
I faced a sullen life alone
Me and a dog
And her rawhide bone
The phone rings
It makes my day
It’s Duncan
And he’s going to say
Hey babe
I love you much
I miss you
I miss your touch
Can you believe?
I found this man
Can you believe?
He’s all that
He’s simple
Yet not a simpleton
He’s hard
Yet not rigid
He’s soft
Yet not yielding
He’s sharp
Yet doesn’t inflict pain
He’s a pistol
Yet he doesn’t shoot
He’s mature
Yet he likes to have fun
He’s his own man
Yet he’s my man.
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